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Why Is Parenting So Difficult?
June 6, 2016
Let’s look at life as a game; we play to win otherwise we find ourselves sitting on the bench until we eventually die. Let's take a look at some facts about the environment in which kids have to grow up today.
Parents are not perfect and most have major matters to contend with themselves.
1. The rules by which they played the game have changed. Parents are supposed to guide kids but the kids are more informed and better equipped to disagree than when parents were growing up.
2. The game is far more intimidating and complex; kids are greatly influenced by others against the parents will, desire or knowledge.
3. The game is far more dangerous today, and can and often does end in the outright loss of a young child or children.
4. Parents learn to suppress their fears and emotions and frequently rely on luck or blind faith that their offspring will survive. The emotional scars however, go unnoticed until it’s too late and besides, no one should be playing just to survive.
5. The kids of today have access to any and all information. (Even that which the parents don’t know) and therefore second-guess authority.
6. The world has changed in so many ways that no one really knows who is in control, responsible or accountable but most are sure that the surroundings left to next generation is not going to be any better, considering the path that is currently being taken.
It is often ignored that every struggling teen comes with a bundle of problems, problems that get brushed aside because of their complexity. Kids go through unimaginable hurdles to try and make it in a normal society today. Parents and teachers are aware but are seldom sufficiently equipped or incentivized to make a positive impact. Everything was much less complicated in the past, a possible reason why it is now so difficult for parents to remain in charge. While enjoying relatively secure and stable lifestyles, many of the older generation did not realize the enormity at which society would change and the extreme effects that it would have on their kids. Where is a kid to go for advice when they do not trust that their parents will give them the best information? We tend to forget that the kids of today will be the leaders of tomorrow and the decisions that they will make can and will affect the world significantly. Far too many key kids are being lost to neglect, insecurity and indifference and they are therefore doomed before they reach adulthood. Anyway you look at it; they are also far too many parents that should never ever have had kids. Besides limited resources they are ill equipped to handle the responsibilities of bringing a child unharmed into this world. Sure there are outside circumstances which are uncontrollable but it is often the inside circumstances which are uncontrolled. It is considered a basic human right to have children which is not in dispute but there are no reasonable guidelines in effect to ensure that those children do not become a burden. Let’s be callous, if you have a kid in jail for life, it costs an average of $27,000 a year to keep them away from the rest of society. Their parents don’t have to pay the price and it is often big relief to have somebody else take care of their child. Some states are spending more money on prisons than education. While most parents have very good excuses, they are after all just excuses. One can blame the economy, the government, and one’s boss, the pressure at work, not enough time, coworkers or one of the many other people that come to mind. If a kid struggles and has to be treated differently, there is a good chance that a good potential will be wasted. Human beings are amazing, in that they can achieve on unimaginable greatness but at the same time succumb to inconceivable weakness. If parents don’t look after their children and set them up for the best possible chance to succeed, the reasons will not matter. ‘The taste of failure really does not improve with the quality of one’s excuse. For the so-called lucky ones, it is not unreasonable that a kid becomes fully dependent on the parents for everything. This dependence typically lasts for as long as possible because after all, why do something for yourself if you have somebody else to do it for you? It is therefore important to strike a balance. While we all recognize good parenting because it shines through, we do not always clearly understand the ramifications of bad parenting. The behavior of human beings is not black and white, there are far too many moving parts taxing us to find common threads, common enough to eventually lead us to an effective solution. It may still be assumed that all parents want to be good and do their very best but there are those that do not realize own their limitations and the power of outside influences and so are simply not taking care of business. Because of this, it is easier for parents to hope that their child will somehow figure it out, on their own. The problem is that most kids don’t and even if they have a so-called good life, it is important to realize that it could have been so much better in so many areas if the parents were able to do their parenting jobs effectively. Nobody says it is easy and most parents do realize that it is completely and utterly their responsibility to bring balanced, savvy and constructive children into the world and that no matter how legitimate the reason, they are always going to be accountable for what they kids get up to. With a strict emphasis on privacy in the United States it is often challenging to get close enough to discover the critical reason why so many kids are not being groomed to live the American dream. For too many years and too many people, the dream has slowly turned into a nightmare for more than the expected number of citizens. We constantly hear that it all begins at home, which seems reasonable but if what is coming out of the home is unacceptable, the whole community suffers. Patterns of behavior will continue to remind parents to accept greater responsibility to produce well-adjusted balanced and productive children. It might not be a bad idea for more parents to team together to work on better parenting practices. Everybody’s future depends on it!
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!